I write about my life. Saucily.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

And I can't help myself, I don't want anyone else.

I hate studying. Not just the mindless monotony of it all, though that figures into a healthy portion of it, but the uncertainty of it.

Yes, I've made over 150 flashcards full of information. Yes, I've spent hours reading the textbooks. But going over the flashcards took me only 30 minutes. Should it have taken longer? What if I'm overestimating my knowledge of these subjects?

In a way, I wish I didn't care so much. I know caring this much will be what separates me from last year's Bs and this year's As (and I will have them, oh, I will), but it adds so much stress to my life that wasn't there before. Last year tests were stressful, of course, but not to this level. I don't think I even stressed this much over physics tests, and I was never too good at physics. I've taken 3 years' worth of biology and another course in psychology... why am I so worried?

I guess it's just the GPA thing. I need to boost my GPA this year, without a doubt. If I make all As this semester (which I'm trying very, very hard to do) I'll have brought it up to a 3.5, and if I make all As for the year it'll be a 3.75. I want so badly to have that 3.75. I want to be that smartest girl again. Sure, in high school it was fun being the intelligent slacker - everybody knew I had the capabilities, I just never applied myself. But this is university level, and I want to make the best grades so I can get the best jobs.

When did I become my dad?


Post a Comment

<< Home